i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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