i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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