yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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