Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's never too late to be topless.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
