dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
