I wannas sexs uuuuu
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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