making cat noises will not fix the situation.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
