she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
