Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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