Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
