I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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