i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You don't make any sense
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