If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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