I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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