WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
do nipples grow back?
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