Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
