apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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