Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
