Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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