Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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