If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
