you turned your livingroom into a bong?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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