my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
