You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
