Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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