why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
