In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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