btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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