just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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