There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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