So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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