Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
