she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
