if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
