Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
