in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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