Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
