out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
