So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
