What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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