Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
