I'm laying in your front yard are you home
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
