just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
