So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
