it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I don't deserve a penis
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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