So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
