so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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