His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
