Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
