just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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