Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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